Portrait Photographer $81

I've become that Mom.

Today I took about 50 pictures of Bellerina.

But in my defense, I am doing it because I am almost as much in love with my new camera as I am with my baby. She's already posing. This can't be good news for the future.

No offense to models, they're super fantastic at making clothes look good, and it would probably pay for my retirement, but it's not what I envision my daughter doing.

The husbando and I decided to breakdown and buy a Canon Rebel DSLR. We've been eyeing one for a while, since my SIL got hers (though she takes totally amazing artistic photos, which I will never be able to do).

We decided the baby is only this age once, and we went for it.

And I'm in love.

All sorts of love.

So expect many, many more photos to be attached to the blog now. I know I should've been doing it all along. But now you're going to get some visual! Well...as soon as we install the software to upload.

Interpreter $125

Bellerina is picking up words at a crazy break-neck little spongy speed nowadays.

But that doesn't mean that she's picking them up correctly.

We were visiting her Uncle Lukie today and I was needed for interpretative services several times.

Bellerina: "Uuuuuump"

Mama: "Oh, she wants you to pick her up, that was an up, believe it or not"

Bellerina approximately 7 seconds later: "Boom, Boom"...then rather impatiently a second.."BOOM BOOM"

Mama: "Oh sorry, boom boom means down"

Of course, "Boom Boom" has several meanings for Bellerina, the following interpretations may apply:

I just fell.

Put me down.

Put me down NOW.

I'm tired.

I pooped.

Cogito ergo Boom Boom.

Wash, Dry, Fold Laundry Service $56

Some days it feels like all I do, all day, is laundry.
That's probably because some days I do.
You would think that doing my own laundry for over 15 years would have taught me that a few loads, a few days a week, is a better method then waiting until I have Mount NicolaBellerinaious to actually move my butt toward the washing machine.
I had to crawl my way out from under the pile of jeans and onesies to change a set of stinky pants.
I was greeted with the pleasure of another wash, dry, fold cycle when two pieces of clothing and a towel were lost to a poop incident.
Will the cycle never end??
After 14 months of this I figured I would have the wipe, replace diaper, cycle totally under control. Epic Mommy Fail!

Low level Mob goon $192

You need something to disappear?

I can take care of that.

Me and my friends, we have this place, where we hide things that we don't want to deal with no more.

Sometimes it's a crazy ex-boyfriend, sometimes it's a guy who hasn't paid you on that loan, sometimes it's a book called "Ain't Gonna Paint No More".

Whatever it is that's upsetting you and making you want to tear you hair out, we gotcha covered.

I promise, you won't never hear from it again.

Focus Group Participant $150

Focus Groups are bomb.
How did it take me this long to find that out? You would think that as a largely unemployed mother, desperate for some extra cash to actually go out and have fun with I would have milked this by now!
I get to try out a new eco-friendly diaper product, for free, and answer a few questions in 2 weeks to make $150.
Ridiculous.
The product that we're trying out is something that I would have bought anyways, I save serious dough by not buying diapers, and the husbando and I can go to dinner without freaking out about cost.
Sweet.
Anyone in the Boston area, I recommend focusonboston.com, you're not always going to fit their demographic but if you do it's worth a little trip to Braintree to score some cash.

Falmouth Chamber of Commerce Employee $80

Though we are lucky enough to have gone to Cape Cod about 3 times already this summer, we hadn't gotten Bellerina past the beach.
Mostly because I could live at the beach, all day, every day, and I kind of subject her to that. Poor thing. I keep saying "Look, she's a beach baby, she loves the outdoors", but the reality is she doesn't have a chance, I'm going to make her love it.
So Saturday the husbando and I finally decided to take her somewhere in Falmouth other then Nobska Beach.
We had lunch at Liam Maguires, she didn't scream, but she did demolish two placemats in record time, and stare in a totally inappropriate way at the hostess. She was wearing something wildly inappropriate for day, but it's still not nice to stare.
Then we headed in and out of stores well I gave a lecture on the importance of shopping in small businesses, and she stared at me and said "Nose!" repeatedly. I think that perhaps it went over her head.
Last, but not least we split a super yummy vanilla/vanilla cupcake from Cupcakes of Falmouth. They use all organic ingredients. Why does that matter when you're sucking down a little mound of pure sugary delicious frosting and a heavenly fluffy cake? It doesn't. But I figure if the Mom-police want to get on my back for giving her a cupcake I can at least tell them it was organic.

Stunt Coordinator $334

I am pretty sure that the guy who coordinated the stunts for the last Bourne film was less stressed out about injury then I am watching Bellerina walk.

It's totally awesome that she's walking on her own now...2-10 steps at a time...then falling on her butt. But on her own nonetheless.

Except I find myself going through a safety check list every time she's about to venture off on her own.

Is there a sharp pointy toy on the floor guaranteed to impale her foot and make her fall on her face?

How close can she walk to the coffee table before the corner may leave her with the nickname OneEyeErina?

Can she reach the cord to the iron now that she's standing up? (Turns out the answer to that one is yes.)

In general, I'm getting a good lesson in how bad I am at baby-proofing. Bellerina is a stunt woman with some serious guts, because her environment is 50/50 at best.